0:01

up to up to up to up

0:04

to up to Jimmy Carr will be here

0:06

in 15. Let's start the episode now. Let's start the episode. We

0:08

saw Jimmy Carr last night. We saw Jimmy Carr last night. He

0:10

scared the fuck out of me Saturday. Saturday?

0:12

Saturday, I saw him at the big Netflix

0:14

party. Yeah. This week is Netflix

0:17

as a roast. Netflix is a

0:19

joke. Yeah, yeah. We did the roast,

0:21

but it is Netflix as a joke. We're gonna talk

0:23

about the roast today. We'll talk about the roast because

0:25

he's a roast master for sure. And

0:27

he was there, not in the roast, but

0:30

he was in the audience. I was looking at

0:32

him a lot. Always very well dressed. I'm sure

0:34

he's gonna show up just sharp as can be.

0:36

What do you wanna, can I, before we get

0:38

into the roast stuff, can we talk about Jimmy

0:40

Carr? Sure. Do you know much about his story?

0:42

I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this. I don't know. Like,

0:45

I don't know. I don't know him very well. I remember, do you

0:47

remember when we met him? When

0:50

we met him in Montreal. How

0:52

do you say it? Montreal. I think you're saying

0:54

it wrong. Well, that's how you say it for

0:56

them. Yeah, we're Americans. I know, but we're saying it.

0:58

And if they want us to not take it from

1:00

them, then we'll say it our way. Montreal? Montreal. Well,

1:04

we were in Montreal for the.

1:06

Was it Melbourne? Melbourne. Melbourne.

1:08

It's Melbourne. Is it Ibiza? No,

1:10

it's Ibiza. Crowd

1:16

loved when I did Spanish, by the way. Yeah,

1:18

they did. That was a surprise. I did not expect that.

1:20

I think they thought it was like a fucking parlor trick.

1:23

He's like a, when we

1:25

met him in Montreal. Yeah.

1:29

And he walked into the room. I just

1:31

realized you could also do Montreal.

1:34

Montreal. Montreal. I

1:38

hate when they talk French. When they talk

1:40

French, yeah. It's their first language there.

1:42

No, it's not. No, no,

1:44

no, it's not. In Montreal it is. They talk

1:46

French the same way you talk Spanish. They can

1:49

talk French. Some of them

1:51

speak poor English. Bull. Yeah,

1:53

because they're lazy. That is,

1:55

that could be argued, but it's first language is. If

1:57

your sister only spoke Spanish. She'd be like you don't

2:00

get out on up. You just hang out with mom.

2:02

That's true. That's who they are Well, they're not getting

2:04

out of their city Their

2:07

city is French I want to

2:09

party with your sister so bad Jane and Maria you

2:11

both of them with you with you I just partied.

2:13

Well, I just hung out with Jane

2:16

and my mom they came to the show in In

2:20

Canada, do you know we were planning a surprise party for you?

2:24

When for your birthday For

2:26

my birthday. Yeah, we were gonna plan a surprise

2:28

party for you And I and because I think

2:31

Maria was like, oh it'll drive him crazy Yeah,

2:33

and I was like, oh, yeah So how's that

2:35

fun? And if I show up it'll make him

2:37

out of his fucking mind How would that be

2:39

a good thing? Cuz it's for us. Yeah,

2:41

exactly Yes We

2:44

should go on a family trip you with

2:46

my family. Yeah, you know me. No. No, I was

2:48

gonna take my family, too My

2:51

family, let's do a cruise my family

2:53

and your family I bring my sisters and

2:55

you bring your sisters and your and

2:58

you bring your mom and bring my dad and my mom. Oh

3:01

It'd be so much fun. What's up for

3:03

who for me? I'd love it.

3:05

I would fucking love it. Oh My

3:08

god, let's get back to Montreal. Well, I'll

3:10

tell you this Jane and my mom were

3:12

like, you know, my mom was like Trying

3:15

to take blankets from the fucking hotel

3:17

and she like, you know, all she's like I'm

3:19

taking this I'm like you can't take it but

3:21

doesn't belong to you. She's like I take this

3:23

cup. I'm like, no She goes

3:25

can you buy it? I go. No, it's not for sale. It's a fucking cup

3:28

It's like it's the coffee cup in the

3:30

room and she's like why can't I take it because it's

3:32

not yours it belongs to This

3:35

property and she was like they have other ones. I

3:37

go. That's not how this works She's like a fucking

3:39

child. Like this is what a toddler would think this

3:41

is my impression of my mom hanging out with your

3:43

mom Okay. Yeah, you talk like your

3:45

mom and I'll be my mom's like so nice

3:47

to meet you. It's so nice to meet you

3:50

It was so nice to meet you too. Yeah,

3:52

okay. Yes. Oh, it's nice to she got funny

3:54

accent That's what your mom was saying.

3:56

Yeah She's done that she's done that

3:58

before like we went to an Italian restaurant. They guys. Hey Would

4:00

you like a little of it? You know my dad

4:02

my mom goes. I like a little spaghetti I go

4:04

mom what the fuck you doing she goes they like

4:06

it. They like it sure I feel like we've got

4:08

more come I told you this story about the Italian

4:10

guy right at the restaurant No, I didn't tell you

4:12

this. No a few months back. I never told you

4:14

this no When I walked in

4:17

to this Italian restaurant the guy it

4:20

was in Jersey, and he was tan Black

4:24

hair spiked with gel like up here.

4:26

It looked like real Jersey Shore shit

4:28

Yeah, and he looked like a southern

4:30

Italian guy right and

4:33

he was like But

4:35

I say it I've been minute the

4:37

lucky puppies Just and I was like

4:39

oh Jesus Christ, and he was super

4:41

theatrical and so we sit

4:43

down and he cuts fresh Pecorino

4:46

and he puts it on the plate,

4:48

and he's like prego prego Bravo

4:52

prego. I was like this fucking

4:54

guy's just off the boat You know

4:56

and he's like we have is the

4:58

most amazing bucatini la mari cana today

5:00

We have a spaghetti abalone is is

5:02

going to make your fucking asshole shit

5:05

It's so good in branzino it flies

5:07

in from the Mediterranean Incredible

5:09

and so he walked away in this character

5:11

by the way I mean it was so

5:13

like dramatic he walks away. We're like this

5:18

So I had been at the time doing

5:21

Italian on multiple apps on

5:23

my phone for like I

5:26

don't know probably Nine

5:28

months or a year so I mean

5:30

super elementary, but like you know I

5:32

have basic things down So

5:34

I'm like I mean I'm nervous I'm like I

5:36

want to say you know you the one thing

5:38

you miss with apps is like conversation So

5:41

like he walks up, and I was like he comes

5:43

back, and I was like I'm gonna get the bucatini

5:45

and then I go Ofame

5:49

he goes huh I

5:51

go off of a meal

5:53

or family and he goes

5:57

And I was like I'm hungry he goes Bravo,

6:01

and he like walks away and I was like what the fuck so

6:03

then I look it up I'm like maybe I said it all

6:05

wrong. Yeah, and I said it Completely,

6:08

right? Yeah, so I was like that's

6:10

fucking weird. So he comes

6:12

back and I was like, huh I

6:14

go so Where are you from? And

6:17

he goes Salvatore I

6:19

was Salvatore. It was that like

6:21

a village. He's like no I

6:24

go where is that? He's like

6:26

in Central I was central like

6:28

Central of Italy

6:31

he's like no Central

6:34

America. Are you from El

6:36

Salvador? So

6:40

you're not Italian he goes no prego and he

6:42

just walks away Full

6:47

Italian act that he does. Can I

6:49

tell you I we talked about this

6:51

on a podcast and I bothered

6:53

me that it's Something we talked about on a

6:55

podcast that I can't figure out why I do

6:57

it What is I would have never

7:00

tried to call him on it. I just

7:02

would have let Santa Claus be real Oh,

7:04

yeah, I would like and there's certain people

7:06

that go hold on what the fuck's happening

7:09

Well, I didn't I was I didn't humiliate

7:11

him. Yeah, I just was like I

7:13

was perplexed at why

7:15

he didn't understand my simple Italian freights

7:17

and I was like This is it and

7:20

I and I wasn't guessing that he wasn't

7:22

Italian at first I was just like oh,

7:25

I must be saying this like a perfectly. Yeah. Yeah, but The

7:30

best is that when he came back and

7:32

after I had done that thing he stayed a hundred

7:34

percent He spoke

7:37

English with an Italian person's

7:39

inflection, you know, he didn't say it like

7:41

a Spanish But he kept saying all the year

7:44

you want to eat the lovely Oh, it's like

7:46

the way she's standing up Love

7:49

you Andrew. We're talking about the roast we were there. We're

7:52

on the run. Yeah, we love Andrew I love the fact

7:54

that I loved it I want to out

7:56

the dude but one of the guys we were with was like

7:58

who is that guy? I said Andrew Schultz Oh, he's

8:00

the white guy little black guys love True.

8:03

Yeah, it's true. Yeah fucking 50 cent at

8:05

his MSG show unbelievable I mean I didn't

8:07

you know, he didn't pay for it. No

8:09

50 cent showed up out

8:12

of love 50 cent loves him I was

8:14

fucking wild man. Yeah, he was that he

8:16

was fun. He was fun to be fun

8:18

with like he'd celebrate He was great. He

8:21

was great. So let's this is what I

8:23

know about Jimmy Carr. Okay. Yeah We

8:26

meet him in Montreal. Yeah, and

8:28

he and He's doing a guest

8:30

set on one of the show we're showcasing on or

8:33

me and push where you were doing other shows me and push were

8:35

your backstage of push and Jimmy

8:38

Cargos guys just hop in and try some jokes and they're like, yeah,

8:40

of course And you said

8:43

Google his net worth I

8:45

did yep And I Google his net worth and as it was

8:47

on my phone you leaned over and he goes He's

8:49

still hustling to do guest sets. He

8:52

does not need to do any of

8:54

this. Hmm. He has to show six

8:56

out of eight cats That's the name of

8:58

the car real quick. He's got a big

9:00

show. He's got a big TV show He

9:02

got in trouble for getting he got canceled

9:05

for a fucking joke Did you see his

9:07

response to the joke to people getting canceled?

9:09

He's listen this guy always

9:11

has the sharpest He

9:13

is witty as well dark as short as

9:15

funniest darkest really really funny guy, man We

9:18

had him on your mom's house. Oh, yeah,

9:20

he was fucking incredible. He was great Jimmy's

9:22

the guy that we you can bring up

9:24

any topic and he's going to know something

9:26

about the history go to his Wikipedia He's

9:29

got a show. Okay, it's a very most

9:31

popular show in Britain right now. Yeah, it's what

9:33

it's been forever. It's called Eight

9:36

or nine cats or something eight or nine. We don't

9:38

get it here. So I don't watch it Okay, it's

9:40

like a very very popular show. All right. Can you

9:43

just find the name of the goddamn show? It's right

9:45

there eight of eight out of eight out of ten

9:47

cats. That was that since 2005 Well,

9:50

yeah, I think the pandemic probably shut down production.

9:52

Okay, but he is super cool thing

9:54

I don't know if he'll say this on the podcast

9:56

ball. Yeah it and then we can never bring it

9:58

up I

10:01

was at the party, I was at the big, I

10:04

don't know, maybe I can't

10:06

remember if my memories are real or not. So like,

10:10

but someone was getting ready to do the

10:12

roast and they had their set list, all their jokes. And he

10:15

said, let me take a look at that. And

10:17

he grabbed their list and he

10:19

went move this and he took his pen and he changed their

10:21

set. And he goes, there you go. And

10:23

it's the set they delivered and it fucking

10:25

destroyed. Cause he just went through, he's a

10:27

fucking tactician. He's a fucking smart guy. Very,

10:29

very sharp dude. Do you feel like he

10:31

grew up wearing knee high socks and like

10:33

short maroon pants? It sure feels like he

10:35

should have. Yeah. Would you be

10:37

shocked? He should be the, he's the kid who had picture saying when

10:41

he was a kid, he's like, mommy, if

10:44

I do it right, can I have

10:46

some more porridge? And then she's

10:49

like, you may. And then he does the

10:51

thing. And then she gives him like another

10:53

bowl. He's like, Jimmy has another

10:55

bowl of porridge for himself. Mommy, can

10:58

I take my tea to the meadow? I'll

11:00

have my tea in the meadow today. That's exactly what

11:02

it feels like. He said he had a great, he

11:04

had a great joke. I

11:07

want him to say what he did, but he had a great joke

11:09

about, oh, so you

11:11

can understand that I didn't mean that. Have you seen his

11:13

defense of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really brilliant of

11:15

like, he's a real, he's a real like freedom of speech

11:18

guy, which is crazy in their country. I don't think that's

11:20

freedom of speech. I don't know the laws.

11:22

Well, we'll find out soon. Yeah. We

11:25

should do all our interviews like this where

11:27

we do a pre-interview to me and you, and then they

11:29

come down and people like- And we listen to all your

11:31

assumptions about them. Yeah. And then we

11:33

would check if any of them are true. I felt

11:36

like he grew, he, he, when

11:39

I think of Jimmy Carr, I think of

11:41

oil rigs. I think of Saudi

11:43

Arabia. I think of him talking to

11:45

Sheikhs and brokering deals,

11:48

and then him going, this

11:50

isn't for me, no more. I

11:52

think I want to try stand up. Definitely.

11:55

That is very good. He's

11:57

got a posh accent. Yeah, that wasn't though.

12:00

That's not what you just it was not posh.

12:02

No all right. All right Yeah,

12:05

that's kind of like the dock worker. I kept saying

12:07

to him. I kept saying to him This

12:10

is the best. I hope we talk talk about

12:12

this. He was with Leanne. Leanne was fucking wasted

12:14

last Yeah, and I was trying to he couldn't

12:16

understand her totally because she

12:18

was so drunk and redneck and Shane Gillis kept

12:21

going You do not do a

12:23

bad accent of her on stage. You're doing a very

12:25

accurate accent. I go. I fucking know She's

12:27

like, shut up Shane He's

12:29

bully and then I go Jimmy. Do

12:31

you sent it to a little bit of Scottish and

12:33

he goes I sense uneducation

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policygenius.com/bears. I

17:03

feel like she hasn't read books. Is

17:05

that what you're looking at pointing that? She

17:07

was fucking wild last night. Well,

17:10

we should go to the beginning. So like we-

17:13

Oh, let's talk about our experience with the roast. That's what

17:15

I'm saying. So we get a call. Good call, Burt. We

17:18

get a call like a month ago and they

17:20

say, hey, we're doing this roast

17:23

to Tom Brady. Would you

17:25

be interested in doing it? And you

17:28

go- I said, yes, we're both in.

17:30

And I go, no. You said absolutely

17:32

not. I go, no. You were like,

17:34

there's nothing we can win out of

17:36

this. Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? Like

17:38

we've never been on roast, we're not roasters or anything.

17:41

But then they said, we're trying something

17:44

different where we want you guys to do

17:46

it together. And even then I was

17:48

like, you mean like, just go to the podium together and

17:50

roast together? And they were like, no, we wanna do like,

17:53

we're thinking of like trying something that

17:56

we've never done before. I think they wanted a

17:58

sports center thing first. Yeah, yeah. And we

18:00

were like, nah, I gotta get flowers. I gave them to

18:02

you last night. I'll give them to everyone. Yeah, well, you

18:05

said no. And you said, you called

18:08

me, said we're not saying yes yet. We're gonna have

18:10

a meeting with Netflix. We're gonna talk through with the

18:12

writers. Yeah. And with the producers. So

18:14

we got on a thing. And in

18:16

a 30 minute Zoom call,

18:19

I spoke zero, which I think everyone will

18:21

find shocking. Yeah, that's true. And you talked

18:23

the whole time and you had a million

18:25

questions of things, angles you liked,

18:28

angles you wanted to do, things

18:30

you were cool to do. You liked

18:32

the multimedia presentation. You liked it being different

18:34

than everyone else's. Yeah. Cause

18:36

you're like, and then you can't really draw comparison cause

18:38

it's apples and oranges. So we can succeed on our

18:40

own or fail on our own. Yeah. And

18:43

then at the end you were like, bird, do you have any, do you

18:45

have anything to say? And I said, I said, yes,

18:47

Thursday. Yeah, that's exactly what you said. Yeah, Thursday. I

18:49

said yes before we had any idea what we were

18:51

doing. Yeah. Then you wrote

18:53

a script. Yeah. You pitched

18:55

your idea to me and Mike, I think. Yeah,

18:58

that's true. And maybe I gave

19:00

a couple ideas, but not a ton. And

19:03

you came up with a script. You wrote a script, sent it

19:05

over to Mike and me. I read it,

19:07

loved it, talked to Mike, kind of punched it up, gave

19:09

it to the writers. The writers punched it up a little

19:11

bit. And, but writers

19:13

punched it up a lot. I got to say the writers on that and

19:16

the writers, Ray, Pat,

19:20

Sarah Tiana, Mike Lawrence,

19:22

Mike Gibbons, Jeff Ross. Yeah, they're great. All the

19:24

people that worked on that roast. I'm sure I'm

19:26

leaving people out. We're fucking phenomenal

19:29

and with us every step of the way. And

19:31

they were pivotal in some of our favorite moments

19:33

in that roast. So the way we looked at

19:35

it was like we were kind of doing like

19:37

a, almost like a weekend update

19:39

thing where like we comment and

19:41

we have images, which was, I

19:43

thought a fun way to do it. It was,

19:46

and it turned out, it turned out

19:48

really fun. Let's talk about the drama going into it.

19:50

Well, yeah, well, let's talk about this. So then they

19:52

were like, well, we have, you have to be at the rehearsal Saturday.

19:55

And I was like, I have a Cincinnati

19:58

show Saturday. like

20:00

a big-ass show, I can't move it. Well,

20:03

when can you get here? I'm like, fucking after

20:05

the show, then you'll miss rehearsal. And

20:07

I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. So

20:09

I zoomed in, I would

20:11

watch the feed, and then I

20:14

watched you with a stand-in go through rehearsal,

20:16

and we had changes in that,

20:18

changing images. But I gotta say, it

20:21

was very exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Carr. Oh,

20:23

what did I tell you? Jimmy Carr on my

20:25

redneck whites. What did I tell you? Tiny couple.

20:28

What did I tell you? Here, sit down

20:30

right here. Good, thank you. Congratulations. Oh,

20:33

thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What was it like?

20:35

He was, well, we were just getting to that. First

20:38

of all, he just did an amazing impression of

20:40

you. Yeah, thank you

20:42

very much. Yes,

20:45

thank you. Can

20:48

I just join you? You're not one of those

20:50

cucks saying, is this going to happen? It

20:54

feels like she's comfortable.

20:57

Thank you. You

20:59

know what else I enjoy? No. These

21:03

two last night drunk were fucking

21:05

awesome. With Zangulous in the mix, it

21:07

was the fucking craziest night. That was one of the kind

21:09

of legendary comedies. That's one of the best nights I've ever

21:12

had at the Comedy Store. And I've had some great nights

21:14

there. It was such a brilliant, like

21:16

in the OR, John Mulaney went up

21:18

and just killed. And then Mark

21:21

Norman went up, Chappelle went up. It

21:24

was then me. Wow.

21:28

Pretty great. Yeah, you. We

21:31

were giving you a lot of facts. Ladies and

21:33

gentlemen, let's calm ourselves down with this guy. Yeah,

21:35

no. What do you want to do,

21:37

your impression of Jimmy for him? Hello,

21:39

mummy. I would

21:41

like to take my spot of tea at the meadow

21:43

today. Right.

21:48

So you're not watched a lot of Downton Abbey, but quite a

21:50

lot of Guy Ritchie films. I have, I have. I'm

21:52

only one Guy Ritchie. Yes, no, no, he's

21:54

late. He goes, he said he goes, Jimmy

21:56

has a bit of a posh accent. I

21:58

go, that wasn't posh. What you

22:01

just did? No. I mean, who

22:03

thought it was going to be? It's

22:05

the craziness. So wait,

22:08

let's talk about the roast for

22:10

a little bit. I am dying

22:12

to deep dive you. Because like, you

22:15

are one of the most elusive, mysterious,

22:17

more lube. The

22:20

mysterious and elusive. Yeah, because when we

22:22

met you, we were... How do you

22:24

say the city that they do the

22:26

festival in Canada? The comedy

22:28

festival. Montreal? How do you say

22:30

it? Montreal. Okay.

22:33

Yeah. It's Montreal. Montreal.

22:36

Well, I was... Well, we'll take it.

22:38

It's Montreal. Montreal. I

22:42

gave him the Canadian pronunciation, which is Montreal,

22:44

and he got very upset. So, you know.

22:46

Okay. You both sound exactly the same to me, but

22:49

I'm fine. Montreal. So

22:51

we first met you probably seven years ago, eight years

22:53

ago in Montreal. And we

22:56

were fascinated that you were

22:58

a person who had already accomplished things in life,

23:00

but were still hungry to get on mics. Like

23:02

you were still showing up

23:05

and going, can I get on the stage? And I remember

23:07

both of us were like, he doesn't

23:09

need to be here. Like you were elusive,

23:11

though. So we were all broke kids trying to

23:13

get money. And you were someone that was not

23:15

looking for money. You were looking... You

23:17

enjoyed stand up, the art of stand up. Yeah, it's

23:19

the... I suppose it's that thing of like, there's no

23:21

equivalent for the gym time, right? Right. You're

23:24

not on stage. You own it, you know, you can sort of... You...

23:27

God, Jerry Seinfeld did a thing the other day. It was

23:29

like, he did the blocks thing with Neil Brennan. Yeah. It's

23:32

like a masterclass. Really? But I mean,

23:34

he was kind of talking about the idea that you get paid, you

23:37

work during the day and you collect the money at night.

23:39

Yeah. I think it might be Chris Rock's line originally, but they...

23:42

So you work and kind of on these things and then you have to

23:44

try them in front of all these. You

23:46

just don't know what's going to hit.

23:48

And because your stuff is so methodical,

23:50

calculated, like it's all very crisp and

23:53

pointed, you know, the setup, like it's

23:55

very, very sharp. I imagine that you

23:57

are a pen to paper person doing

23:59

this, right? There's no way that it doesn't

24:01

feel like loose when you do it Yeah, but it's

24:03

weird when you start in comedy like all the stuff

24:05

that I loved was really loose storytelling Yeah, and then

24:07

I can't I don't have that I've got a fastball

24:09

Yeah And then I'm trying to expand like the thing

24:11

that I've been doing the last couple years that the

24:13

last special trying to expand that Kind of slightly longer

24:15

bits. Uh-huh Cuz I love it

24:18

when other people do it sure. Thank you But

24:20

something I do I mean, you know, I love that thing

24:22

of like going the idea of going out there with you

24:24

know One story and doing

24:26

an hour that'll last me 20 seconds

24:29

I have one story and I've done 25 years I'll

24:34

tell you what I loved the the improv the

24:37

you know that history the improv thing where you

24:39

did the original set that you Did the fun

24:41

when you got past? Oh, yeah, that was fantastic.

24:44

I just loved it But you could sort

24:46

of see the written, you know Kind of the origins kind

24:49

of that thing of like when you see someone the great

24:51

thing about our job is you kind of get better As

24:53

you got like no no one that I love in comedy.

24:55

Everyone does the best work in their 50s I've

24:58

done this many times. It's not unlike said guys.

25:00

That's inspiring too I think you're so especially if

25:02

you're looking at your 50s you go like oh,

25:04

that's when everyone's at their best Yeah And it's

25:06

that thing of like you go you can't you

25:09

get better at the craftsmanship of it like being

25:11

good at something and like Working at it and

25:13

I don't know. It's like it's really

25:15

fun to get up. I mean I found that the roast last

25:17

night I had such a brilliant time.

25:19

Did you as for me? I was trying to reverse

25:22

engineer, you know anything about American football Yeah, so I

25:24

was going Tom Brady's like nothing to me.

25:26

Yeah I mean, he's very handsome, but I'm not

25:28

a gay guy despite being European and but also

25:30

he's like and he's a footballer And he's one

25:32

of the quarterbacks. Oh You

25:35

mean anything to me? So I'm trying to reverse engineer

25:37

the jokes in my head and going oh that must

25:39

mean that guy was okay I

25:41

could do it. What was your favorite joke

25:44

from the night last night? Um, Nikki Glazers

25:46

Nikki Glazers to you. I really

25:48

I'm a huge fan of your joke Made

25:50

me laugh for I

25:53

would say I'm still laughing at it now

25:57

So good. Yeah, it was totally good

26:00

I mean there was there was a few incredibly

26:02

good lines. There was so many good lines. Her

26:04

set I thought was just a That was a

26:06

master class set in a roasting. Yeah, like it

26:09

was perfectly done I wouldn't change

26:11

the lines the cadence the pot

26:13

everything. It was just structurally everything

26:16

was perfect about it It was

26:18

fantastic. Tony. I had

26:20

this thing where I was like I We've

26:23

been around Tony for so

26:25

long. Yeah, and Tony basically

26:28

lives in Roast

26:30

mode He's somebody who like a lot

26:32

like you were like the jokes just keep so

26:34

you sit with Tony in the green room Or

26:36

you go to lunch with Tony and he is

26:38

like he's just always roasting people, right? Like when

26:41

I was in Montreal when I first met Tony,

26:43

yeah, he was like it was roast battle. It

26:45

was that year Yeah, and he was just like

26:47

hanging out like pitching ideas constantly Yeah being around

26:49

like we've been around him so much. I think

26:51

it's often that thing though with your friends Yes

26:53

Where you're around them and you see them and

26:55

then suddenly they do something like that and you

26:57

go well I knew he was capable of that.

26:59

Yeah, I think America just found out that's exactly

27:01

right Even the Kill Tony thing is like I

27:04

mean, it's selling out Madison Square Garden Yeah, great.

27:06

This is amazing. I think like the name recognition

27:08

and the respect. Yeah, I think it just happened

27:10

last night I think so too. I mean less

27:12

you know after before we sat down Next to

27:14

me I was like this is so cool that

27:16

we've watched you for years be great at

27:19

this And then you just got you had

27:21

an opportunity and you just knocked

27:23

it out of the park Like everybody saw the

27:25

brass neck of him to make jokes about being

27:27

short the brass neck

27:31

What is he four foot two? Yeah,

27:35

he's not a big man joke about me. It looks

27:37

like the liver King Met

27:40

the Burger King. Oh, yeah, and has the

27:42

liver of Rodney King got beat up by

27:44

Martin Luther Whatever the fuck I was like,

27:48

god damn it. Yeah, that was amazing But

27:50

my only thing I'm only take back and

27:52

if you watch the special, it's super enjoyable

27:54

is I read Everyone's jokes

27:57

as they were doing them because I was reading the

27:59

process So the whole you're saying

28:02

this because you think we don't know that.

28:04

Oh, no. No, we saw it.

28:06

Oh, seriously Yeah, oh no, I was gonna inquire

28:08

as to your reading age When

28:10

I got here, I think you're really coming along.

28:12

I just saw the clip of Bert and with

28:15

Tony doing it birth going Yeah,

28:18

it looks like he's praying He

28:21

looks like he's quietly praying Because

28:25

I would say like I was watching and there's a

28:27

bit of you that watches and you know from the

28:29

audience as a comic going That's good. That's good. That's

28:31

great line. Okay, you know, you're kind of you're kind

28:33

of analyzing I think I wish I was up there

28:35

and I was thinking oh my god It must be

28:38

so hard when you're sat there and

28:40

someone's just eviscerated. Yeah, and then And

28:43

then you kind of you've got we've got

28:45

another half an hour to wait. We said

28:48

that we said when Nikki was up it

28:50

goes Kevin

28:52

Jeff Drew Bledsoe who

28:54

fucking murdered? Nikki destroys and Tom and I

28:56

looked at each other and Tom goes we're

28:58

gonna bomb Because our

29:01

thing wasn't that what everyone else was doing and

29:03

people don't know that they didn't know that we

29:05

were we weren't asked to like Roast

29:07

traditionally, we're asked to do this different thing I

29:10

was like, I don't know if this is gonna

29:12

be well received like the monitor and it was

29:14

great It's like it's as you're watching it as

29:16

a punter. Yeah in the audience you go. Yeah,

29:18

it's like a different speed Yeah, and it's a

29:20

very long show So actually doing something that's a

29:22

different and you know Like so you're watching the

29:24

roasting for like, you know an hour and you

29:26

go well, everything's been hit on We

29:28

understand his wife has gone and he lost some

29:31

money in big and then you go it's nice

29:33

to have a little okay There's another thing like

29:35

a great line. It's really helped me understand my

29:37

wife. Oh, yeah Psychopically,

29:39

I got a really big laugh. Yeah Not

29:42

from your wife Yeah,

29:45

you know who got no you probably didn't see it You

29:47

know who did the best job of the night and no

29:49

one knows Alonso Bowden really

29:52

Alonso did the warm-up and

29:54

boat I was sitting with Shane

29:58

Gillis and we both kind of

30:00

went, this is an impossible gig. There's 20,000 people

30:02

in the arena. Everyone's up and chatting

30:05

and no one is, the room is

30:07

so unfocused. And he came on and

30:09

he did material. And he, I mean,

30:11

he's such a pro. He's a, he just got them.

30:13

He's a beast and it's all new stuff. The stuff

30:15

I've never, I know him very well. But like that

30:18

was before they even started doing the thing.

30:20

But like the setup was so right. Yeah.

30:23

And I got to say like, you know, when

30:25

you host the thing too, you

30:27

can kind of be personality

30:29

versus material. I

30:32

thought Kevin fucking killed. You

30:34

know what I mean? Like he had

30:36

great material. He had great energy. He

30:38

always kept it fun and funny. He

30:40

would kind of just a very generous

30:42

laugh. That's one of the things. He

30:44

is infectious. He was great. Legit goddamn

30:46

movie star. Yeah. Like one machine

30:48

movie. That didn't count. Like a proper,

30:51

no proper general release. Like people went

30:53

to see, they bought tickets. Yes. Real

30:56

movie. Yeah. No. Real

30:59

revenue. Not like whatever. You made a

31:01

thing for YouTube. The, not that. A

31:04

real one. Yes. A real one. I

31:07

was reading his prompter and he would go. Yes,

31:09

we know. It

31:11

was on television. He

31:14

would go off book and I was

31:17

getting nervous for the prompter guy. Cause you'd see the

31:19

prompter guy scroll and then scroll back and scroll back

31:21

and back and back. Kevin would come back and hit

31:23

the thing that was on the screen. Kevin

31:26

murdered. He was great. He was really great. But when, when

31:28

Nikki went up, we thought we were going to bomb. And

31:31

then God bless Kim Kardashian. Yeah.

31:34

For fucking. Oh God. I didn't

31:36

understand that for a sec. I thought like, were they booing

31:38

the concept of Hollywood? They kind of were. It's what they

31:40

were booing. Cause this is one thing we figured out. I

31:42

don't know if it registered to you. That

31:45

that audience, they were football

31:47

fans. They were Tom Brady

31:49

and professional football fans. When

31:51

comedians walked out initially,

31:55

you know, at most comedy events, people

31:58

know the comedians. Comedians. got

32:00

like nothing. They went mostly when they do

32:03

a roast. Yeah it's in a hotel ballroom.

32:05

Not on a ring. I know. Like on

32:07

a Sunday afternoon. They were there. I mean

32:09

they were there. They were there for Brady

32:11

guys. Pretty famous. Yeah he's pretty famous. They

32:13

were there for Tom and for for Patriots

32:15

and for football players and so that

32:17

was like a thing that you I picked up on I

32:19

was like oh they're and we and also

32:21

like the way they reacted to jokes and I think

32:23

she symbolized everything that

32:26

fan base kind of hates right and

32:29

so I thought she did pretty well

32:31

I've got to say here like she's

32:33

like she's good news this is

32:35

why this is why this is something that

32:37

I kept noticing too because in seeing prompter

32:39

and watching all the acts one of the

32:41

things that you pick up on was the

32:44

people that didn't do well

32:46

and there were a few that like it was

32:49

I'm saying like the regular yeah roasting

32:51

was was it

32:53

wasn't because of them for the

32:56

material is that they kept going off

32:58

script yeah cuz we would dream

33:00

it's casual yeah we read and they commit

33:02

to the bit it would read like the

33:04

top line and you're like okay and then

33:06

and they don't realize see we know how

33:08

important economy of words and like the you

33:10

got to say this before this is the

33:12

connective tissue to that and they would go

33:14

first line and then I would watch them

33:17

like riff on that and then try to pick

33:19

up and you're like yeah it doesn't work like

33:21

that you have to stick to the

33:23

whole thing for the thing at the end to pay

33:25

off yeah I thought I thought Kim Tedish did a

33:27

great job I mean no but that joke is why

33:29

I wouldn't have told anyone oh what am I to

33:31

say the reason the reason I think she was able

33:34

to which because she ended up getting a big

33:37

couple big pops is

33:39

because she stayed in the pocket so to get booed

33:41

like that and to just sit with it yes okay

33:43

yeah and then to do it the confidence

33:46

yeah yeah like to get booed by

33:48

that many people it's like most people

33:50

would crumble of course people would Affleck

33:53

which is where it's an industry term it's where you

33:56

get dry mouth you can't your

33:58

your veneers stick to Take the

34:00

ellipse and you can't speak. Think of some

34:02

of comedy duos who got it done. Keon

34:04

Peale, Sam Morrell, Mark

34:06

Norman, Shane Gillis, Matt

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36:39

his whole bit by the way, I was convinced I

36:41

was ashamed going I tell you what's gonna happen He's

36:44

gonna do this bit about a guy Talking

36:47

shit online and the guy's gonna be Matt Damon

36:49

and he's gonna be in the audience and

36:52

then they're gonna do a bit together Because otherwise this

36:54

would be insane. Yeah, and then he walked off and

36:56

I went well, I was wrong about

36:58

yeah Yeah, but that's more to my point

37:01

is that he was Completely

37:03

jumping off of that script man

37:05

Like he would stay he would get the

37:08

gist of it and then just

37:10

we were like reading it We're like, why

37:12

is he jumping off and then it

37:14

would go Worse and

37:17

then he would just jump ahead to the next thing So he I

37:19

don't know if it was nerves or

37:21

like or the fact like we're so used to do it

37:23

Maybe also he passed on rehearsal and didn't want to come

37:25

to that or something But that's why I

37:27

think he'd probably didn't want to come to rehearsal because

37:29

he didn't want to be roasted Maybe

37:32

so it's that thing. Did they tell you Kim Kardashian was

37:34

gonna be there I knew it

37:36

because I went to rehearsal and I saw

37:38

her face on a picture rehearsed because watching

37:40

it wouldn't think That doesn't

37:42

come across Can I tell you I killed

37:44

it in rehearsal and then we did our rehearsal that morning I

37:46

stumbled a couple lines and I was like motherfucker. I've

37:49

done this. I've hosted so many TV shows I'm

37:51

finally prompt her but I was like what the

37:53

fuck and I realized When

37:56

we started the bit that there were

37:58

so many laughs in between that you didn't have

38:00

to run through it. You could take your time and say

38:02

the sentence. And I was like, Oh, well, we got our

38:04

first laugh. I went, okay, I don't, I

38:06

have to wait for the laughter to end to say my

38:08

next line. And it's a, it's a long laugh in that

38:10

room as well. Cause it's a big room. I don't know

38:12

if you used to be rooms, but it's a big room.

38:14

Yeah. I thought I did think

38:17

like as an event, it was such a great thing to

38:19

be at. Yeah. Just kind of,

38:21

It was a fun thing. It was long as

38:23

shit, Jimmy. Like we were, when we were like,

38:26

wait, okay. And then when I found out we

38:28

were at least front load, like we were in

38:30

the first part of the show, like great. But

38:32

then sitting there for another two fucking hours. Also

38:34

you go, Ron Burgundy's just

38:36

been on. Oh man. What?

38:38

Who's going on after that? Yeah.

38:42

That's, Bill Belichick. Yeah. They

38:44

had that. And he kind of did follow that. He murdered.

38:46

He murdered. He's so, he, you know why I, He's not

38:48

the only patriot that murdered. This

38:51

is why. There's the job. Again, I had to

38:53

properly reverse engineer. Oh yes. The man with the,

38:56

Yes. He was a bit murdery. He was. Yeah.

38:58

And that's frowned upon. Yes. It is.

39:01

It is. I was wondering if you, what, cause

39:04

some people mug when they say

39:07

jokes, some people don't, some

39:10

people are very dry and Bill Belichick

39:12

was so dry that

39:14

I was like, that is a comedy style in

39:17

and of itself. Yeah. He was like, He

39:19

was his, he was like, He plays his vagina.

39:21

He was, he was like Bob Newhart style. Yeah.

39:24

Like he was like, He

39:26

didn't tell me a thing about Bob Newhart recently that I

39:28

kind of blew my mind, the button down comedy of Bob

39:30

Newhart. He was working in an office. That

39:32

was his second time. I think

39:35

it was his first time doing comedy as the recording of the

39:37

album. What? He'd

39:40

never done comedy. He wrote this thing. He went to

39:42

a place and performed it. They taped it and they

39:44

put it out. He's like,

39:46

it blew my mind. Like it's like,

39:50

Is that not insane? Yeah. I

39:52

mean, people probably don't, it's a weird thing. I

39:55

always think that everything goes back into the pop

39:57

with comedy. Like people don't particularly revere or remember

39:59

people A bygone age, but

40:01

Bob Newhart was just fantastic. Fantastic. Really?

40:04

But that first record apparently had the other before. That's

40:06

really amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, I should

40:09

post my first time doing stand-up. Maybe

40:11

I'll... Yeah. Man, it

40:14

was so bad. No, that's... My

40:16

first joke that worked was about jerking off

40:18

in a cheeseburger. Into one? No,

40:21

with one. I put it around my dick and jerked off

40:23

with a cheeseburger around my dick. Okay. And

40:25

that was like a big... Where's my closer? That

40:28

was your closer? I

40:30

didn't know what stand-up was, so I just was telling the

40:32

most revealing stories I could about myself. Yeah. And

40:34

did they make you leave In-N-Out? No, but I took... They

40:37

should have called it In-N-Out if they didn't want people to

40:39

do that. Do

40:42

you talk about animal style? Oh,

40:45

God. I don't know if these are

40:47

in my bit. Yeah.

40:50

I said no mail. I

40:55

mean, how much of a problem do

40:57

you have with food before you fuck

40:59

a burger? I mean, I'm not a

41:01

psychiatrist, but that feels like this

41:03

is the conversation before the intervention. Right?

41:07

Oh, I love food. No,

41:09

no. You don't understand. Maybe

41:16

I won't post it. Wait,

41:18

what was your first set like? It

41:20

was... I mean, it was a

41:22

weird thing where you go, I think before... Set

41:25

the scene. Set the scene. Because I know you

41:27

were a corporate guy. Yeah, I was working kind

41:29

of in an office. I kind of fell into

41:31

this job in marketing for a big oil company.

41:34

And I was kind of really... Yeah, but you were

41:36

the runner of a company. No, no, no. I

41:39

go when I think of Jimmy Carr, I think of big oil

41:41

rigs and Saudi shakes and BP and fucking handshakes

41:45

and Vries and nice watches.

41:47

And then, is that real? Yeah,

41:49

I mean, ish. I mean, it was like, I always

41:51

think that thing in life, like the good is the enemy of the best. I

41:54

had a good job and it was fine and it was like what you

41:56

were supposed to do next. The enemy of the best. That's

41:58

a great fucking... Yeah, but it's

42:00

often that thing of like if life is good enough. Sometimes

42:03

you don't take the risk Sometimes you

42:05

can't you know, it's when you've got nothing that's kind

42:07

of an advantage in life If you're listening to this

42:09

and you think oh my god, I've just got I

42:11

got nothing you've got nothing to lose Yeah, it's like

42:13

you can you sometimes when it things are kind of

42:15

okay, you stay in the okay thing Yeah, and

42:17

it was it was certainly okay. It was an okay life, but

42:19

I was maybe mid 20s So

42:22

it kind of finished University and like got

42:25

this corporate job and it was all going right and

42:27

you could see I could see This is such a

42:29

clear path and then I left

42:31

to join the circus I was like, you know, yo

42:33

ho ho a pirate's life for me and this thing

42:35

of like I started going to comedy more and

42:37

more Cuz I was a bit I wasn't depressed. I was like

42:40

sad Yeah, the thing of like

42:42

depression is serotonin. Yeah balance in your brain is

42:44

very serious medical condition Sad is when it's circumstance

42:47

and when it's just circumstantial, it's your fault and you

42:49

can do something about it It's good

42:51

news to be sad And then I just kind of started

42:53

going to comedy liked it and then you

42:55

know that like almost like the reverse of your career You

42:58

start seeing people in like really big venues doing two hours

43:01

and they're great And then you start going to clubs

43:03

and they're doing 20 minutes and you go. Oh my god I could never

43:05

do that and then you go to tiny blake Little

43:07

call-in places above a bar and you go I

43:10

could do that. Yeah, and then your career is

43:12

finding your way back to the big Thank you.

43:14

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah First time

43:16

I was one-liners. I just could write one-liners. I could

43:18

think like that You know, it's a version of who

43:20

you are, right? Yeah, the first time

43:22

was still like Reminiscent

43:25

of what we know. Yeah you Yeah,

43:27

I think so. Yeah, I think it was like like little wordplay things

43:29

like Yeah,

43:32

I was There's lots of stuff about

43:34

being kind of very middle class like lots of stuff about you

43:37

know But your middle class I've kind of

43:39

I perceived as being middle class. What's that?

43:43

In Britain we have we have class like

43:45

you have race we have like a big

43:47

kind of class system And yes, it's slightly

43:49

odd. I'm perceived as being quite posh. Yeah,

43:51

well like upper class Yes, but actually I

43:54

met my parents are Irish immigrants to Ireland.

43:56

So we only came over in the early

43:58

70s. So for work So it's

44:00

that thing of like I know what I am but I also know

44:02

how I'm perceived. We think you kind of and That's

44:05

really helpful in show because no Brits

44:07

are so in tune with the class

44:10

system there do most Brits Perceive

44:13

you as posh or know that you're middle class.

44:15

No, they would they would perceive me as being

44:17

posh posh Yeah, okay, because I'm over

44:19

educated or whatever You know what you went to

44:21

that university if you've got that thing because it

44:23

used to be I mean It's not so much

44:25

anymore because university has become like a luxury item

44:27

Yeah, it might as well be a Louvert on

44:29

handbag now Yeah, or a Porsche but you got

44:31

used to be it was a kind of a

44:33

meritocracy and there was social mobility in that you

44:35

could Sort of change your class by going to

44:37

a certain school, right and hope for a better

44:39

job and what I mean Yeah, it was good.

44:41

So you are you this still has

44:43

a Irish immigrant mentality I

44:46

think there's something about like the Irish. There's

44:48

something about the There's

44:51

a Morrissey song Irish blood English heart There's something about

44:53

that where there's a lot of there's a

44:55

lot of us that have gone into the

44:57

creative thing And it's a I

44:59

don't know if there's there's something to being other

45:03

Because you see things in a slightly different way. Yeah,

45:05

I think that can be perceived Like

45:08

I always felt other even though I probably fit

45:10

in I always felt other I always

45:12

felt I've always felt other I even went to

45:14

that party the other day that I said to

45:16

Ted I go I don't belong here Like

45:19

and I felt that too By

45:23

our security Should he be here?

45:27

we So that

45:29

fitting in thing is like it's like Alan.

45:31

Haivi gave me the best known, you know

45:33

Alan Yeah, old school is amazing comic. But

45:36

you know comedy work work

45:38

out for ourselves putting it together That's

45:40

good. It's just like the opposite of being an actor right

45:42

if you're an actor and You're

45:45

getting the part of James Bond One

45:48

guy can get that role and What's

45:50

our job we escape competition

45:53

through authenticity That

45:55

you absolutely you are yourself. No one

45:57

else could be you or would

46:00

want to be. But you know what

46:03

I mean? It's like you do your thing. And even

46:05

though you guys are very different, you're very different stylistically

46:08

on stage. And it's different styles.

46:10

Yeah, there's a crossover of fans, but

46:12

actually very different styles of comedy. We're

46:15

all doing our little thing. Who did I

46:17

see last night? Mark

46:19

Norman was at the store. And

46:22

he's one line ago. I'm a one line ago. But it's

46:24

so different. Whatever you bring to

46:27

that is like your thing. It's yours. Yeah. It's kind of

46:29

that thing of like just being yourself seems like that thing

46:32

of like the world that we live in now,

46:34

like the podcasting thing is huge

46:36

because people are just being authentic. Where else

46:38

do you get that you watch the news

46:40

and people are speaking this weird language that

46:42

no one speaks like that. What are you

46:44

talking about? Yeah, what can I ask you

46:46

a weird side question? I'd be amazed if

46:48

you didn't. How do you feel

46:51

about Oliver Cromwell? What

46:54

in terms of like, as

46:56

someone with Irish parents who

46:59

was horrific in Ireland, but yet they have

47:01

a statue of him up in London. And

47:04

he's and they like and he's all about this.

47:06

Like I'm curious. I'm dying. I'm

47:08

obsessed with Oliver Cromwell right now. Really? You know

47:10

the phrase warts and all is for Oliver Cromwell.

47:12

Yeah, he had him on his face. Yeah, but

47:14

it was it's from the painting. Yeah.

47:16

So when you used to get your portrait painted, that was

47:18

the day if you were an important person, you'd have your

47:21

portrait done. And they would always make you look a little

47:23

bit more beautiful than you were because you paint them and

47:25

whatever. So everyone was. And

47:27

when he was painted, he famously said, I warts and

47:29

all. I want to look how I look. Oliver

47:32

Cromwell is the guy who killed King Charles because

47:35

he was he was they were

47:37

all about he's actually considered a dictator

47:39

because he had the military rise up

47:41

against the king who I think King

47:43

Charles. But he was did

47:45

dodge him and then Oliver Cromwell got him

47:47

and beheaded him got rid of the monarchy. And

47:50

then but it was horrible Ireland. And he was

47:52

very pivotal. They put up a statue of him.

47:54

And I think in like the 70s or maybe

47:56

the 80s in London, everyone felt

47:58

one of two ways. It's like fucking

48:01

Winston Churchill hated

48:03

Oliver Cromwell, hated Oliver Cromwell. And there was

48:05

an old prime minister that paid for the

48:07

statute, he commissioned the statute, he loved Oliver

48:10

Cromwell. I was curious as an Irish person,

48:13

what person of Irish descent, how you

48:15

felt about Oliver Cromwell? Because it's, Oliver

48:17

Cromwell's a curse word in Ireland, correct?

48:19

Not really, I mean, I don't think, I think it's like most

48:21

people are kind of through that now in terms of like, you

48:24

know, I mean, they call it the troubles, but there was a

48:26

civil war. I mean, it was like, it was awful. And

48:28

they managed to find a piece somehow. So

48:31

it's kind of, it's, I think most people

48:33

are, there's a generation now that are kind

48:35

of, have never really seen that. Really? It

48:37

used to be so, it was like, I mean,

48:40

you know, things were blowing up in London

48:42

when I was a kid. I remember my

48:44

mother, my mother had a very strong Irish

48:46

accent. And I remember, like we

48:48

went into a store, like the

48:51

local store to buy newspapers and candy or

48:53

whatever. And the guy behind the

48:55

counter said, these

48:59

Irish, there'd been some bombing. And

49:01

the guy said, oh, these Irish, they

49:05

should be killed along with their children. And

49:08

my mother, and I'd never seen it before, just fucking

49:10

eviscerated the guy. Really?

49:12

Just like in front of a bunch of people, just crazy

49:16

the guy. Wow. It's

49:18

something that we don't really understand is that

49:21

whole, like, I think

49:23

if you ask most Americans, what

49:27

Great Britain is, they don't know what that is. I

49:29

don't think they know what London is, the UK or

49:31

England. Oh, even the UK is different, yeah. Yeah, like

49:33

all of that is so, it's

49:35

amazing that it's like the same way you feel about football, we

49:37

feel about the rest of the world. Yeah, but

49:39

I mean, America is so huge. You've

49:42

got so much going on here. You know, people often

49:44

do that thing of going, oh, America's got no passports.

49:46

You go, yeah. But if you had Alaska

49:49

and Texas and Florida

49:51

and Hawaii, and there's

49:54

a lot of places to go before you need to leave. There's a

49:56

lot of boxes to take before you got to get to Europe. It's

49:59

a weird thing with the... The statues thing, I would feel fine

50:01

about it. I think statues are good. I think history

50:03

is a good thing. I think if it reminds people

50:05

then great. And you just

50:08

need to, you know, everything's in

50:10

context. Yeah. When you started

50:12

doing comedy clubs, cause we both started in comedy

50:14

clubs and you would, I was not good at

50:16

recognizing morons. Like I would tether up

50:18

to morons quick. Tom is really good

50:20

at picking out morons. Like he's like, fuck

50:22

that guy, he's an idiot. He knows he's

50:24

saying this, yeah. Yeah. Why, what

50:26

am I saying? But

50:28

like, but like, were you, cause you were

50:30

like, you came from a different world. I still don't think he

50:33

knows you're saying that. Okay.

50:35

Okay. So would you... So

50:37

you're saying Tom's good at picking out

50:39

morons. He's really good at picking out

50:41

morons. Oh, no, I'm not picking out

50:44

morons. And there you saw the penny

50:46

drop in perhaps the slowest of all

50:48

motions. I

50:50

thought of morons. Yeah. The

50:54

fact that you didn't get a joke about being a moron, you

50:58

have to make me another drink. So

51:01

wait, did you suffer? So we

51:03

take two drinks away. What's

51:06

the phrase, suffer fools lightly? Suffer

51:08

fools gladly. Is that what it is?

51:10

Yeah, but go on, what's the... Did you... What

51:12

do you mean? Like other comics that were... Yeah, when you go

51:14

back... I was convinced everyone was

51:16

a genius. Really? Because you'd see guys

51:19

that were doing 20 minutes that they'd, I didn't know, they'd be doing

51:21

the same 20 minutes for 10 years. Sure. And

51:23

they were working on a sitcom or they were writing

51:25

a movie and I was going, I need to work

51:27

a bit hard. I need to do a bit more.

51:29

These guys are on it. And then you don't realize,

51:31

yeah, they weren't doing anything. They were

51:33

talking a good game. There's a lot of people that talk a

51:35

good game. And then you go, yeah, but

51:38

you don't kind of, you're doing the same thing. Or

51:40

guys that had one trick. Then they

51:42

could write one type of joke, but they couldn't write the other type

51:44

of joke. They could write a pullback reveal,

51:46

but they couldn't do anything else. Yeah.

51:49

I would think that you would walk

51:51

into a green room very complicated. I walked into

51:53

the comedy store in London. I've been

51:55

doing standup for like probably 14 years, 15

51:58

years. And those guys got... in

52:00

my head so hard about, about

52:03

like, because there's, I guess

52:05

the comedy store in London's like the place. Yeah,

52:08

I mean, not to the same, I don't think it's, it's

52:10

not as good as, let's be honest, the

52:13

comedy store in Los Angeles and the comedy

52:15

seller in New York, it's, that's quite a

52:17

unique thing of like, people turn

52:19

up to work on stuff that

52:21

are huge comics, and it's every

52:24

single night of the week, it's,

52:26

they're phenomenal places. And

52:28

I guess mothership is becoming that. Yeah, you've done

52:30

spot on there. Yeah, I mean, your podcast with

52:33

Rogan's amazing, by the way, it was really good

52:35

fun. I loved it. I get stuck on

52:37

things where like, and they get stuck in my head where

52:39

I think about it a lot. And it,

52:41

you know, yeah, you said something about that I can't stop

52:43

thinking about. A lot

52:45

of people play the guitar. A

52:48

lot of people love music. And then they also play

52:50

music for fun. They have fun, they really enjoy

52:52

it. They're not going to be a musician. They're

52:54

not going to be doing, but no one does that

52:56

with comedy. And you were saying there

52:58

should be an accessibility to comedy. People love comedy.

53:00

They should do comedy. They should learn comedy. The same

53:02

way you would learn the guitar. Why wouldn't you

53:04

want to learn comedy? I thought it was really a

53:07

fucking profound statement. Well, I'm working on the thing

53:09

at the moment, my friend, Amanda Baker and Abi Grant,

53:11

we're working on a, like a book and maybe a

53:13

course about like teaching it. Because I

53:15

do think it's like, there's a lot of mystery

53:17

around comedy, like in green rooms and things like,

53:20

that guy's just a genius. And

53:22

you go, well, he's not a genius. He's doing

53:24

something there. And if you break it down, and

53:26

sometimes I think there's slightly the, there's, there's an

53:29

illusion that people go, well, it just comes to

53:31

me on stage. You go, no, you're writing, but

53:33

that's where you're writing. That's where you're writing. Yeah.

53:36

I've always resented the, um, the, when people talk about,

53:38

uh, like

53:40

they're like this, this guy's on another level.

53:42

And I'm like, no, there's

53:45

a level of proficiency that you get

53:47

to. And then it's kind

53:49

of like it becomes what your

53:52

taste is when they start talking about, like,

53:54

I just feel like after a certain amount

53:56

of time, there's a number of people that

53:58

get to a very. proficient level and

54:01

to me I see

54:03

everybody at that level as essentially the

54:05

same. I just I

54:07

kind of you have your taste where

54:10

but it I don't feel like

54:12

that person is a genius. I

54:15

think the genius thing's a bit overused

54:17

as well. It is. On like that

54:19

thing of like you go there's there's

54:21

pure genius there's you know I don't

54:23

know a bark or a vernumin or

54:25

something and then there's hyper accelerated rationality

54:28

which I think is what comics have a lot of

54:30

the time. When we're in stage on stage I think

54:32

the bit that works sometimes you think of a joke

54:34

but then when you're on stage in front of people

54:36

your mind goes at a weird speed and

54:38

your subconscious just throws something out that you're like the

54:40

little tag on the end of it that you go

54:43

oh where did that come from? Yeah. Or you're chatting

54:45

to an audience member it's like it comes that

54:47

quick but again I think it's like being in that

54:50

in that state. I do think that thing of like

54:52

teaching it because kids what do you get from stand-up

54:54

comedy? You get to speak in your

54:56

own voice. The tragedy that so many people live

54:58

and die without ever hearing their own authentic voice.

55:00

The kids this is really big in the United

55:02

States. I don't know if you have but you

55:05

must have a version of it but like the

55:08

kids that would do Borat

55:11

impressions and then that would become

55:13

their personality. Yeah. Like it was

55:15

like an Ace Ventura impression in high school

55:17

and then that was their personality. Alrighty then.

55:20

Like then and they never learned comedy they

55:22

learned how to be funny by watching a

55:24

movie and emulating that as opposed to finding

55:27

your authentic voice is so fucking cool. It's

55:29

almost like a first step right? I mean

55:31

those kids that were doing that like when

55:33

you look back you go oh they're kind

55:36

of like toying with how to

55:38

do comedy. And they're drawn to the joy of it.

55:40

Yeah. You know because the the joy of comedy is

55:42

like I think the reason we all do it

55:44

it's it's a it's kind of a

55:46

people come and they need it. Yes. I think

55:48

that's something that we don't really talk about much because

55:50

we sound very you know up ourselves but

55:53

the idea of going some people come to comedy and that

55:55

they've had they've got a tough life and

55:57

they got a tough job and a tough family situation and then you

55:59

come out. And they need a couple of hours off from that to

56:01

just laugh at this guy and this guy is Like

56:04

the freedom to speak and to say what you

56:06

want. Yes on stage is kind of oh I

56:09

felt it I felt it with you the

56:11

first time I saw you to stand up

56:13

But I remember Tom had said you've got

56:15

to see him. He's so fucking good and

56:17

it was that Montreal and and I the

56:20

joy of Seeing

56:22

something you've never seen before seeing

56:24

someone do it proficiently and it

56:26

being comedy and being really surprised I

56:29

love that so much when you're like like oh

56:31

shut like and it's and even it being a

56:33

comic you're like this is Fucking next-level.

56:36

I mean you had your clipboard on stage in

56:38

the roast battles You were

56:40

destroying people and I was like god.

56:42

I know how the tricks done I

56:44

don't know how he's doing it But isn't it

56:46

a weird thing with the there's a perfect mix

56:48

of stand-up where you go especially with storytelling I

56:50

think even more so than what I do like

56:52

the dopamine here if you don't quite know where

56:55

the laugh is coming I mean, you know, there's gonna

56:57

be a laugh. Yeah, but you don't quite know where

56:59

it's coming That's and then you have the serotonin, you

57:02

know, the joy of the serotonin is great

57:04

So it's like that thing of it's a

57:06

it's real joy Real joy as

57:08

opposed to you know, it's just so many things in our lives that are

57:10

like, you know Drinking drugs is kind of

57:12

a proxy for joy. Yes, but you go No,

57:15

he said really the thing that I

57:18

live for in comedy in a

57:21

Feature film in any type of storytelling

57:23

that I consume. I'm sure I just

57:25

want to be surprised That's it. Like

57:28

it's a it's actually sounds small It's it's

57:30

a big ask because your your experiences your

57:33

mind other things you've consumed fill

57:35

your mind with like Expectations you're

57:37

to get a surprise whether it's in

57:39

a joke or a twist But

57:42

isn't that what I mean every joke when you break it

57:44

down. Yes, and every joke is the it's the The

57:47

sudden revelation of a previously concealed fact. Yes It's

57:49

like you tell two stories and in the first

57:51

story you're just gonna go this way and it

57:53

goes another way and The rug

57:55

is pulled and you know, the most simplistic someone falls

57:57

over. Yes, or someone should be right

58:00

wearing a shirt and then not. Yes. By

58:02

the way, this is how good Nikki Glaser did last night. Ready?

58:05

Yeah. Georgia's been calling me all

58:08

day. Georgia's friends watch the roast and

58:11

all they said to Georgia, you

58:13

know Nikki Glaser. Really? And they're

58:15

like, that's how good, and Georgia called me this morning and I

58:17

was picking up Isla from school. She

58:19

called it sick. Georgia goes, hey,

58:21

I hadn't watched a roast. Nikki

58:24

Glaser murdered, huh? And I was like,

58:26

it's funny, my daughter speaks in comedy terms. That's how close she

58:28

is to comedy. I said she fucking destroyed. She goes, tell

58:30

me some of her jokes. And so I was telling her and

58:32

she was like, yeah, all my friends, all my friends are

58:34

like Nikki Glaser this and Nikki Glaser that. And then they saw

58:37

a picture of me and Nikki Glaser and like, you know

58:39

her. And I was like, she was

58:41

like, I had to keep on the DL dad,

58:43

like it's but Georgia, all her girlfriends are obsessed

58:45

with Nikki Glaser right now. She fucking killed. Isn't

58:47

that crazy? I love that thing though. Like

58:49

when it pops for someone. Yeah. Like I always think

58:51

that thing about like, you can tell when you've got

58:54

like frenemies or real friends. Yeah. Because

58:56

there's some people in comedy that you're like, sometimes maybe

58:58

a bit too close to and there might be a

59:00

bit of jealousy. And that thing of like the, you

59:02

know, comparison is the thief of joy. But when it

59:04

happens for someone and you go, yes, yeah, I mean,

59:07

the last one probably before this,

59:09

I mean, hopefully Tony and and

59:12

and she get get Nikki get to that kind

59:14

of next level because of this. And that's why

59:16

we're but Shane Gillis. Yeah. The last

59:18

one where every whole industry went. Yes.

59:21

Yes. It's the weird thing like the

59:23

upside of the down. I was chatting to Neil Brennan about this

59:25

of going when you get canceled or when you get dragged online,

59:28

there's an upside. And the upside is the people that

59:30

are your people, it's a chance to

59:32

root for you. Yes. It's a

59:35

chance to go. No, that's my guy. That's the guy.

59:37

When it happens for Shane, it's like he's like

59:39

everyone's like everyone's. Shane had a different Shane had

59:41

a different because he was no one's guy yet.

59:44

He was no one's guy who's so young. He

59:46

was no one's guy. And Shane

59:48

had to get the people to like,

59:52

like he got canceled before he had the

59:54

people. Yeah. He had to get

59:56

the people and as they got the people, then they started. And

59:58

I mean, it's a really crazy way to be canceled. before

1:00:00

you were even famous. Like you dealt with

1:00:02

shit. You got it out of the way early, didn't you? Yeah, you

1:00:04

dealt with shit, which I gotta be honest with you. It

1:00:08

was like, it's like, you know when people

1:00:10

say racial slurs from other countries and you're like, you

1:00:12

edit it out, I know you can't say this word,

1:00:14

but I don't get it, it doesn't bother me. Oh,

1:00:17

I could say, I don't care. Okay, yeah, I

1:00:19

don't care. It doesn't bother me, but I know

1:00:21

you can't say it in like certain places, but

1:00:25

that's the thing, when you got canceled, that was like

1:00:27

hearing a racial slur from a different country, like it's

1:00:29

a great fucking joke. And then people got upset and

1:00:31

I was like, what the fuck? Wait, hold on, you

1:00:34

know he's a comedian, like that was the most

1:00:36

bizarrest one I go, you people

1:00:38

that are doing this are just about to make him

1:00:40

a million times bigger because

1:00:42

it's a great fucking joke. It

1:00:44

did bump up the figures. Fuck,

1:00:47

it was like the Netflix special had done well, and then

1:00:49

there was a big controversy and it kind of went back

1:00:51

into the top 10 again. It was that thing of like,

1:00:53

you go, yeah, this is gonna be, and you know, you get

1:00:55

dragged for these things every now and then, but you have to, you

1:00:58

only have to answer one question when you get canceled, which

1:01:01

is who are you? You know, did

1:01:03

you say an error? What you did you, were you

1:01:05

drunk? Were you high? Did you make a mistake? Or

1:01:07

did you, no, I said that 400 times on the

1:01:09

tour, and I

1:01:11

put it on the Netflix special. Yeah, things are really good joke. Yeah.

1:01:15

But the idea that a joke isn't a joke, it's a statement

1:01:17

of fact, is the trick that they,

1:01:19

that's the switcheroo that the papers do, or the

1:01:21

people that are outraged. But you know.

1:01:24

Your response, I was trying to tell Tom

1:01:26

and I didn't articulate it well, shockingly, but

1:01:29

your response of, so you understand that I can say something that I

1:01:31

didn't mean. It's

1:01:33

gone viral recently. I'm sure you

1:01:35

know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, the bit where, yeah,

1:01:38

it's like, the next time I get canceled, what I'm gonna

1:01:40

do, I'm gonna say, I'm

1:01:43

gonna make a public statement on the day I get canceled, and I'm gonna

1:01:45

say, I'm sorry,

1:01:47

and the people that are offended by

1:01:49

the joke will say, you don't really mean that apology.

1:01:51

And I'll say, so you're saying I could say something

1:01:53

and not mean it. Now you're getting

1:01:56

it. Yeah, it's great. Kind

1:01:58

of sums it up though, right? thing you go you

1:02:00

you're pretending you don't know what a joke is but

1:02:03

you do Jave said it very

1:02:05

nicely Jave said I think it's

1:02:07

on his last special he said you're laughing at the

1:02:09

wrong thing because you know what the right thing is

1:02:12

and a lot of what I do when it's like yeah about

1:02:14

those issues that are really fun to

1:02:16

talk about that one there and then and it's a

1:02:18

release that's what the so you go to the show

1:02:20

for it's like it's the fun of finding

1:02:23

a place where for this

1:02:26

time in this space you get to

1:02:28

do that you get to go say

1:02:30

things that you can't say out on

1:02:33

the street without somebody going like why would you say

1:02:35

that because you're not saying it on

1:02:37

the street you're saying it into a microphone there's

1:02:40

context to this whole thing yeah I don't think people

1:02:42

I don't you know I think sometimes when it only

1:02:44

causes trouble when it escapes the lab yeah I was

1:02:47

thinking the thing people don't consider is being in the comedy

1:02:49

audience I lost I really felt it last night it's

1:02:51

a performance being in the audience yeah you're the

1:02:53

audience are performing as well you're not yeah you're

1:02:55

together if someone said to you if you went

1:02:57

to see

1:03:00

I don't know ACDC live in concert right

1:03:02

yeah and someone says how

1:03:04

we doing Los Angeles everyone goes yeah no

1:03:08

one says that in Starbucks right how

1:03:10

you doing yeah you're insane

1:03:12

yeah you're a lunatic yeah

1:03:14

there's a performance to it

1:03:16

there is yeah I'm gonna

1:03:19

start doing that hey you

1:03:21

know where the black women

1:03:23

at Starbucks that would be great

1:03:25

but it's that

1:03:30

that thing is like the the performance of like

1:03:32

anything there and laughing you're signaling to other people

1:03:34

that you get it it's like I think people

1:03:36

desperately want to feel part of something they do

1:03:38

and when you go your sense of humor so

1:03:40

personal to you right it's like when

1:03:42

you've got your guy and we've all got our guys that

1:03:44

we just love yes and it might not be our closest

1:03:46

friends but the idea of like guys that we go and

1:03:48

see or we watch let me just

1:03:51

go I'm just gonna belly laugh my weird weird

1:03:54

laugh at this I'm gonna honk at it

1:03:56

for an hour because I love everything about

1:03:58

the cadence of this I love And

1:04:01

it's really, it's just fabulous. From

1:04:03

where I was in the performance. Last night, I

1:04:05

was sitting up there. I

1:04:08

know you were very close, but did you feel

1:04:10

like, cause to me I was like, man, just

1:04:12

being up here watching this,

1:04:15

it felt like such a fun

1:04:18

vibe for a roast. I

1:04:21

thought with few exceptions,

1:04:23

everything. Even the exceptions are

1:04:25

important. I think you have

1:04:27

to have a little break. So

1:04:29

everyone kills what it is, one note. So some of

1:04:32

the footballers didn't do as well as the others. I

1:04:34

thought that Julian guy, I don't know who he is,

1:04:36

I thought he was fabulous. He was a grand. The

1:04:38

Gronk was fucking a Gronk. The

1:04:40

Gronk thing, it strikes me that there's an opportunity

1:04:43

for someone who's having a discussion today, I bet.

1:04:45

Cause it's the same thing. Remember when Snoop did

1:04:47

a roast with Martha Stewart and then they went

1:04:49

off and made TV shows together. It strikes me

1:04:51

that there's a Gronk show where he got, we

1:04:54

take him and we send

1:04:56

him to the Vatican to look at the art. Yeah,

1:04:59

yeah. That's what I wanna see. I

1:05:02

want him to go and yeah, what are we

1:05:04

sending him? What we're sending him to the Middle

1:05:06

East. We're gonna see if he can sort things

1:05:08

out. It was Gronk, Noah, like. It was great.

1:05:10

Who was Gervais' buddy? That he? Yeah.

1:05:12

Yeah. Carl Pipperton. Carl used to be

1:05:15

my producer on my radio show. He

1:05:17

was? Yeah, he was the producer at

1:05:19

XFM before, with a radio

1:05:21

show. But there's like a feeling, almost like,

1:05:23

put this guy in this situation, just watch

1:05:25

him. Yeah, he should be, yeah. Like

1:05:29

one of these. Yeah. I have one

1:05:31

of these. Gronk and I could be brothers. Yeah. Gronk

1:05:34

and I get along. Well, he's famously good

1:05:36

at spotting morons. Gronk

1:05:39

and I have a lot of

1:05:41

similar thoughts. Yeah, no, I was watching you guys.

1:05:43

I got into a room and I

1:05:45

got to sit in the middle and

1:05:48

then I had Gronk here and Bert here.

1:05:50

And I gotta tell you, man, it was

1:05:52

like watching. And they were both fucking burgers.

1:05:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met Gronk at

1:05:57

a dinner one night and we went to dinner together.

1:06:00

with a bunch of people and Did

1:06:02

the others get anything to eat? No,

1:06:04

we fucked food up, we fucked booze up

1:06:06

and it was the fucking wildest night and

1:06:10

it ended with Gronk going, Yo, Polly Shore's upstairs, can

1:06:13

you introduce me? I was like, Gronk, you can introduce

1:06:15

yourself. Everyone knows who you are. He

1:06:18

is, he is everything you... This

1:06:20

is a beautiful thing and I wonder what your thoughts are.

1:06:23

When you meet a celebrity, you want

1:06:25

them to be everything you think they're gonna be. And

1:06:27

Gronk delivers 100% Gronk

1:06:30

across the board. He is everything you want

1:06:32

him to be. Sometimes you meet a

1:06:34

celebrity and you're like, Ah, fuck. Guy's

1:06:36

kind of a dick or whatever, but

1:06:38

like he is, Rogan's that way. When you meet

1:06:40

Rogan, he's just as bizarre and

1:06:43

curious as you think he's gonna be. Yeah,

1:06:45

I think it's probably with maybe

1:06:47

actors that you get that. Yeah. Because

1:06:50

you just go, wow, he's so cool, because he played a

1:06:52

cool guy in a movie. Yeah. But

1:06:55

he's not that guy. He said all those cool things.

1:06:57

Yeah, but he didn't like those cool things. He

1:06:59

said the line. Yeah. So it's often like that

1:07:01

thing where you go, the musician who's a rock

1:07:03

star and you think he's super rock and roll.

1:07:06

Yeah, but he's an artist. He's sitting

1:07:08

there writing the songs and getting the melody and so it's

1:07:10

a different thing. You're only seeing the performance bit. You're

1:07:12

not seeing the artistry bit. Who's your

1:07:15

generation of comics? Like when

1:07:17

the guys you came up with, like we know

1:07:19

our generation. I'm curious in your

1:07:21

scene, who your generation of comics, who like your

1:07:23

class is. Well,

1:07:25

the guys I came up with, it depends where

1:07:27

you draw it. There's people that would be known

1:07:29

on, I did my first ever Edinburgh show with

1:07:32

Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant. We all went up

1:07:34

together and did 20 minutes each. What

1:07:36

year? That would have been 2001. When

1:07:41

did you start? I started about

1:07:43

2000, maybe the year before. I

1:07:46

was an Ember in 2000 with Patrice O'Neill and

1:07:48

Rich Voss. Oh, well, I mean that

1:07:50

is a... We bombed. We

1:07:53

bombed. Every night. Did

1:07:55

you? Horrifically, so poorly, you

1:07:58

get 29 nights in a row, 25 nights in a

1:08:00

row, 25 nights in a row. in a row. Wow.

1:08:02

And it was silent. I remember Patrice threw a check,

1:08:04

check passport out of the room. He's

1:08:07

like, get out of our fucking country. It

1:08:09

was so uncomfortable. And I remember

1:08:12

Patrice getting into it with Eddie Izzard or

1:08:14

whatever, you know, something else now. Susie is

1:08:16

on, but Eddie is still acceptable. Yeah. Okay.

1:08:18

I didn't mean that, disrespectfully, but I didn't

1:08:20

know where he is. But, and

1:08:23

just getting into him with him. I remember

1:08:25

being with Patrice, I only met him a couple

1:08:28

of times, but being in, I think it was

1:08:30

like Toronto, we're doing some nasty show thing in

1:08:32

Toronto. And I'd never met him, didn't know anything

1:08:34

of his reputation. He act so delivered, was

1:08:37

so rude to the people backstage. And

1:08:39

like, as funny as he was

1:08:41

on stage, like he was absolutely like, not

1:08:43

just roasting, but like mean roasting. Yeah. So

1:08:46

good. He was, I mean, what a guy.

1:08:48

Yeah. It's so lovely that we've got like,

1:08:51

that thing of like, if you love him, if

1:08:53

you like that comedy, and the, it felt

1:08:55

like he knew when he taped Elephant in the

1:08:57

Room. Yeah. He even makes the joke about, I'm

1:09:00

like, I'm 70, effectively.

1:09:03

Look at, I'm so great. Oh, great. He

1:09:06

was amazing. He was committed to

1:09:08

spending a lot of time over in the UK. When we

1:09:10

did 2000, he was like, I might spend more time here.

1:09:12

I might keep doing this

1:09:15

and Amsterdam and

1:09:17

all those, the clears, like a circle. Amsterdam had a

1:09:19

thing for a while. I did it a couple of

1:09:21

times where they were really into, I think it was

1:09:23

a deaf comedy jam. Yeah. Was their thing. So they

1:09:25

would book mainly kind of black American acts to come

1:09:27

over, but they would book a couple of British guys

1:09:29

as well. So I'd kind of get booked on

1:09:31

the show, but that was really their, their thing was they

1:09:33

were into a comedy jam. So it

1:09:35

would have been, you know, I guess, uh,

1:09:38

rich Ross did that. Yeah. That was, it was kind of,

1:09:41

it was cool. Yeah. I mean, there's a

1:09:43

big market over there. It's just difficult to know. You've

1:09:45

only got a certain amount of time. And there's, I

1:09:47

mean, I play everywhere around the world, but I think

1:09:49

a lot of people just go, America's so huge by

1:09:51

the time you finish touring, you've written

1:09:53

a new show and you're ready to just order it again. That's

1:09:55

kind of true. You have to make an effort to leave. Yeah.

1:09:57

Like this is, I mean. You

1:10:00

know you guys playing stadiums or I just think that

1:10:02

thing it does make it feel new again Yes

1:10:05

When you go and do the Tokyo Dome and

1:10:07

let you go well This is hang on half

1:10:09

the people are just local guys that found me

1:10:11

on YouTube and into this and

1:10:13

it's just it's fun For

1:10:15

you you tour you tour very internationally.

1:10:18

Yeah, I mean, I'm like 24 countries deep this

1:10:20

year. I think really Yeah, I did a lot of

1:10:22

farings murder in South Africa Everyone

1:10:25

murders in South Africa if they do South

1:10:29

Africa is like fucking wild I

1:10:32

think crazy shit on stage and they're like a It's

1:10:34

good fun. Yeah, I did Joe Burke

1:10:36

and Cape Town this time that would be fantastic. How

1:10:39

long are you are you touring the stage right now?

1:10:41

Are you just here for the just here for the

1:10:43

festival the moment? I'm gonna do a show but because

1:10:45

the Netflix thing drops like three weeks ago. It's a

1:10:47

great special by the way Thank

1:10:49

you very much. Great. Great fucking special, but the you've

1:10:51

got to do new stuff immediately So the next tool

1:10:53

date like I went okay. I'm doing the new

1:10:56

stuff. Are you how long you sticking in the city

1:10:58

for? I might here till Wednesday go show Wednesday night

1:11:00

in LA and then I'm gonna go and do the

1:11:02

tonight show on Friday To New York.

1:11:04

Yeah, because I think it's the 90s and it might make a difference

1:11:08

I think if I can do four and a

1:11:10

half minutes of funny stuff clean. Yeah, I think

1:11:12

I might get a sitcom deal Okay, I'm pulling

1:11:14

for you man. I'm really hoping that works. Yeah,

1:11:16

we're gonna have to explain to some of the

1:11:18

listeners What sitcoms are? Yes, it's like a it's

1:11:20

like a long tick tock. I guess yeah, it's

1:11:22

a very long Yeah, long tick tock With

1:11:25

a long tick-bock with some with some ad reads

1:11:27

in the middle. Wait, what is your white whale?

1:11:30

like what it was like what like I Because

1:11:33

I'm kind of lost in that right now. It's like

1:11:35

what are the what do I want to do? I

1:11:37

don't I think I've done everything I ever thought I never did

1:11:39

way more than I ever thought I was gonna do like What

1:11:41

do you like someone comes to sit

1:11:43

you know in a room in Hollywood tomorrow and they

1:11:45

go? Hey Scott Netflix Ted says I'm sure he's actually

1:11:47

said this. Hey anything you want to

1:11:49

do What do you want to do movies sitcom more

1:11:51

specials? Man on the street

1:11:54

eight cat eight. I think are you in this are you

1:11:56

in this now? Are you thinking about this cuz I'm quite

1:11:58

stoic at the moment. I'm like do

1:12:01

less better everyone just right

1:12:03

jokes my thing is do

1:12:05

more mediocre yeah

1:12:07

I'm how's that working out I'm taking my work

1:12:09

off in my head so it's been spent out

1:12:12

you're taking nine months off in July you doesn't

1:12:14

understand how calendars work yeah I can't do that

1:12:16

it's just a month a month is the longest

1:12:18

you can take off in July

1:12:22

yeah the so what you're gonna I

1:12:25

don't know what I want to do well I suppose it's

1:12:27

that thing of like you go there's a what the

1:12:29

fancy temperate is the hedonic treadmill you get used to

1:12:31

your life being amazing but that thing of

1:12:33

like nine months don't have some adventures go

1:12:36

and I don't know trying some things yeah

1:12:38

get on a train try and upset some

1:12:40

mafia people yeah you know the drill but

1:12:43

that thing of like going and having adventures and going and

1:12:45

living your life and kids I think it's a great that

1:12:47

you're doing it because there's no there there you

1:12:50

never arrive right and and what's this about hopefully we

1:12:52

all get better hopefully in five years time we look

1:12:54

back at the specials we made this year and go

1:12:57

okay what's good but you know I could see it

1:12:59

but this one's better this one's got better jokes in

1:13:01

it there's better structure there's all you're ever trying to

1:13:03

do yeah you're trying to get better at it and

1:13:05

and it's always like you're looking up to these masters

1:13:08

you know I don't know who it is for you but like

1:13:10

you look up to some of these you're one of them you're

1:13:12

one of them I look at the way you I think this

1:13:14

is gonna be the most fucked up thing I've ever said yeah

1:13:16

I watch your specials and I go goddamn it if I had

1:13:18

his brain I'd be such a good comic you

1:13:21

cuz you're like all

1:13:24

my lazy parts are

1:13:27

none of yours like all my lazy parts are

1:13:29

the things you excel at and

1:13:31

and and I go but but it's but it's

1:13:33

so sweet of you to say that and I

1:13:35

genuinely is hard to take a compliment

1:13:38

but that's so lovely of you but again

1:13:40

escape competition through authenticity no one

1:13:42

can do what you can

1:13:44

do it's so the opposite of like no one in

1:13:47

Hollywood was going now this I tell you what we

1:13:49

need and how to

1:13:51

shape shut this guy but somehow it the

1:13:53

world wanted it and the energy you have

1:13:55

on stage that the performance like you fill

1:13:57

a fucking room and it and

1:13:59

you carry people along, that storyteller thing. The grass

1:14:01

is always greener, right? You're always kind of looking

1:14:04

over at what other people can do. And

1:14:06

it's like, but you forget your

1:14:08

gifts. The world ordered this.

1:14:12

And they did. They opened

1:14:14

the bag and they're like, this is my order. The secret

1:14:16

is you got to honor it. You got

1:14:18

to honor that thing that you bring to the, you know, it's

1:14:20

great. But what's your white whale then? Well, what's

1:14:22

the thing you want to do? Like you, for you. Like

1:14:25

what's your thing? Like, is there anything you want?

1:14:27

The Oscars or you know what I mean? Like,

1:14:29

is there anything that you ever go that

1:14:32

I would love to do? Yeah, I think there's quite a lot of

1:14:34

that stuff that you kind of, you could, you could reel off, but

1:14:36

actually I think just doing another, I think

1:14:38

it's about special, I think it's about touring. Yes. Doing

1:14:40

good shows. Yes. Delivering. You know, it's, you know, I

1:14:42

don't sound like a hippie, but it's an active service,

1:14:44

isn't it? It's that thing of like, well, I'd like

1:14:46

to be good at this. I'd like to deliver on

1:14:48

it and deliver on that potential. All the

1:14:50

other stuff is like slightly like hosting

1:14:53

the Oscars. God, it'd be incredible. A

1:14:56

chance to get snapped in the face. Yeah. But

1:14:58

you go, well, that's not really, it's

1:15:01

not about the host. That's about giving the whole thing.

1:15:03

Yeah, that's true. Was there a

1:15:05

part of you last night? Because I know my energy

1:15:07

and I'm honest with my energy. If

1:15:10

I had been sitting in the audience, I know Shane said, he's like,

1:15:12

I should have fucking done it. It was

1:15:14

a party that was like, God, give me

1:15:16

one fucking, give me four minutes up there. I

1:15:19

fucking own this room. Was there a part of you

1:15:21

that was like, I would, I really wanted

1:15:23

to do it. I really wanted to do it. But

1:15:25

it's that thing where you go, you're in the audience.

1:15:27

I was saying afterwards, like take up a bit. I

1:15:29

went to the store afterwards and had to do a

1:15:31

show because there's a part of you

1:15:33

that goes needs to perform. This is a fabulous show. People

1:15:36

are destroying. A lot of my friends are killing up there.

1:15:38

Why is this not more about me? But

1:15:41

there's a bit of you, there's a bit

1:15:43

of you that's performing and you have to

1:15:45

be respectful of that. Okay. Well, you know,

1:15:47

the ego kind of, well, I could do

1:15:49

that. You are among the best of the

1:15:51

whites that we know. It's such an honor

1:15:53

to sit with a white.

1:15:55

You are like, it's really cool.

1:15:58

It's great to go over. As

1:16:00

far as overseas whites? And

1:16:02

you're like a Confederate statue to us because

1:16:04

you're an old-school white. If you're like the

1:16:06

authentic first one. Yes. You know? We all

1:16:09

have the accent. Did someone push the cancel

1:16:11

button on me? Quick! We're

1:16:14

gonna need some clicks on this. Terrible things.

1:16:17

What's the name of the new special? Natural Born

1:16:19

Killer. If Quentin Tarantino's watching, I don't know what

1:16:21

you're talking about. Now, the killer.

1:16:24

Not killers. Yeah. Killer.

1:16:28

No, you're a fucking absolutely amazing

1:16:30

comic to watch. So, for anybody

1:16:33

listening or watching, if you get a chance to

1:16:35

see Jimmy live, that's where it's at. Are you touring in the

1:16:37

States at all? I'll do

1:16:39

it next year. Has anyone listened to this in Canada?

1:16:42

Yeah, of course. You know I'm doing a thing

1:16:45

with Jim Jefferies. Me and Jeff are doing an

1:16:47

arena tour of Canada in September, October. And we're

1:16:49

doing a double-header. So, it's me and Jim. If

1:16:52

you like funny jokes, you're in luck. If you

1:16:54

like funny stories, you're in luck. That's everything. It's going

1:16:57

to be fun. I love Jim. We've known

1:16:59

him. I've known him a million years. I

1:17:01

think it'll be fun. He's a monster, man.

1:17:03

He's a fucking monster. Get tickets. Go see

1:17:05

Jimmy Carr, Jim Jefferies together and watch the

1:17:08

new special. Dude, seriously, it's always fun to

1:17:10

see you guys. It's always fun to see

1:17:12

you, bro. You are. And I have to say this.

1:17:14

We met you, Googled your net worth

1:17:16

in Canada. Tom's like, Googled his net worth. He's

1:17:19

still doing stand-up. And

1:17:21

then I ran into you on the lot, I

1:17:23

think, somewhere in the valley, Universal.

1:17:26

Oh, yeah. And you

1:17:28

were so kind. And you were like, Bert, Bert.

1:17:31

And I was so impressed. I

1:17:34

was going into a general meeting. And I was

1:17:36

like, he's a fucking monster. And he knows why.

1:17:38

He was like, Bert, will you fill up this

1:17:41

Michael petrol? My keys. Make

1:17:43

sure it's clean. Thank you. We're

1:17:46

not all chimney sweeps. Not

1:17:48

all of us. Can

1:17:52

you do American accent? Yeah, no, I'm

1:17:54

doing it right now. This is how it should have

1:17:56

been. Things went badly in

1:17:58

Boston. we're

1:18:00

coming back. This

1:18:02

isn't even an accent, this isn't just how things sound

1:18:04

when they're pronounced properly. Vitamin.

1:18:07

They say vitamin. How do

1:18:09

I say vitamin? Vitamin. You know

1:18:11

vitamin? Vitamins, yeah. I would say vitamin. Have you said tutu?

1:18:13

It's tutu. I thought you were saying it right. They

1:18:16

hear a tattoo. You do. Yeah,

1:18:18

a tattoo. Maybe I'll go tattoo.

1:18:20

And then it's, what's the one, aluminum? Aluminum. Aluminum, yeah.

1:18:23

And do you have a tattoo? Well the one that would be, it

1:18:25

would be, I would say, trousers, you would say

1:18:27

pants. I

1:18:36

would say pavement, you would say sidewalk. I

1:18:39

would say I'm an arm, don't shoot. You would say, oops.

1:18:43

And then if we were like, yeah, it's

1:18:45

a bit of a conundrum, you'd be like, it's a bit

1:18:47

of a wiffle, isn't it? Something like that. A bit of

1:18:49

a wiffle? Yes, if we've had a head injury, if we've

1:18:51

had a head injury, sure. Yeah,

1:18:54

yeah. He

1:18:56

would say that. It's a bit of a wiffle. Yeah.

1:19:01

You and Gronk. You and

1:19:03

Gronk. Welcome to civilization. We can't send the

1:19:05

two of you out though. There's

1:19:07

got to be somebody different. There's

1:19:10

got to be. If

1:19:13

we just hate you. You're

1:19:15

both wearing helmets. It's got to be like Jimmy and

1:19:17

Gronk. What they should do is they should do a

1:19:20

show called Jimmy. Jimmy hosts

1:19:22

Gronk and Burt living together. And

1:19:24

Jimmy's at a desk hosting. And

1:19:27

just as we live, oh, they've gone to the

1:19:29

beer again. They're drinking again. Well, they're both in

1:19:31

speedos. You know what? You guys in a house,

1:19:33

cameras everywhere. And David

1:19:35

Attenborough. The wildlife

1:19:38

guy just comments on these guys. It's

1:19:40

like we found the real Sasquatch. Yeah.

1:19:43

Yeah. And a pitch out to Gronk. Neanderthals

1:19:46

walking the hell. Yeah, that would be

1:19:48

great. They're showering in the pool. You

1:19:52

shower in the pool? Shower in the pool.

1:19:54

They're getting the pool. Sasquatch shower. Shower in

1:19:56

the pool. He showers in his. I shower in

1:19:58

my pool. He jumps in the pool. I mean,

1:20:00

I know you're doing great in life, but

1:20:03

I imagine you still have an above ground pool. We

1:20:05

had for a long time, we did. Everything

1:20:08

about you says above ground pool. I

1:20:10

look behind you, look at the poster behind you. Yeah, that's me

1:20:13

in an above ground pool. Yeah,

1:20:16

and that's celebrating, that's he made it.

1:20:18

That's I just showered. I

1:20:20

was supposed to do that show with Jim Jeffries and he

1:20:22

backed out because he was having a kid and I ended

1:20:24

up doing Red Rocks by myself, changed my career. I

1:20:27

love Jim Jeffries. He's awesome. You're

1:20:30

the best brother. Thank you Jimmy. Thank you so much

1:20:32

for having me. No, thank you brother. You're the fucking

1:20:34

best. You're the best. You're the best. You're

1:20:36

the best. You're the best. You're

1:20:38

the best. You're the best. The other wears

1:20:41

a shirt with a top and tail story, then burns the

1:20:43

machine. He bears the chance of hell and the town keeps

1:20:45

his moods. He bears all of his

1:20:48

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